Is your depression worse in the morning? Do you think, ‘why can’t I just get out of bed?”
The thought of getting up and facing a whole new day can be paralyzing. I used to chalk it up to depression and tell myself to get up anyway, fast, like ripping off a bandaid. Except that doesn’t always work, and it isn’t ‘just’ depression.
It’s like waking up every day and realizing I still haven’t fixed the problem. It is easy to get down on myself, but what’s really going on? Depression and anxiety are different for every person, but there is one struggle they all share. No one understands what we are going through!
The challenges of living with depression and anxiety can be daunting, but we all have the power to overcome them.
Anxiety screams, “you have to get up and do things, or you’ll fail in life.”
Depression is the other side telling you, “it doesn’t matter anyway, and you should stay in bed all day.”
Anxiety says, “what if you don’t go and people will get upset, or if you do go, what if something sends you into panic mode?”
Depression says, “don’t go, you don’t have enough energy and don’t feel like socializing anyway.”
With depression, you are lonely, but afraid of people. You are torn between the fear, despair, emptiness and soul-rendering apathy, all at once. The worse part is both sides are telling you no one else cares or needs to know.
Anxiety tells you, “I’m fine, completely functional and capable of finishing all the tasks, while in reality, I’m completely vulnerable and drowning in shame.
Depression is one side of your brain, begging you not to get out of bed. Meanwhile, the other part barks like a military sergeant for not getting out of bed.
Anxiety is like living in a paradox; you feel both too much and nothing. You are completely exhausted, and high strung all at the same time.
One minute, your anxiety skyrockets, and the next, depression smacks you in the face. Anxiety and depression are like a never-ending rollercoaster where you can’t concentrate on anything, and then you are completely exhausted.
The voices in your head never stop screaming at you; it drains the life out of you – struggles between giving up on everything, and knowing that nothing gained by giving up.
Depression is like spending every moment feeling horrible and so low, making it hard to face the day. With anxiety, you are in a constant state of panic. Depression gives you the feeling of being stuck with the inability to move forward.
It is absolutely exhausting keeping your mental illness a secret. You wear an invisible mask with such care so that it doesn’t break and expose your ‘true’ self.
Waking up with anxiety is both demoralizing and debilitating. The thought of going to work is overwhelming and feels impossible. Depression and anxiety are a tug of war, creating a vicious cycle that leads to no longer participating in life.
Depression and anxiety lead to separation from others, giving you feelings of isolation, frustration and failure. Your feelings slowly dissolve into worthlessness and failure envelopes.
No matter what I accomplish, it will never be good enough for my inner critic. You pull away and isolate yourself from everyone; there is just emptiness. It is like covering your face with an invisible mask.
You have to show other people, “I’m fine, completely functional and capable of finishing all the tasks while the reality is that I’m completely a vulnerable person.