Assertiveness 101

Assertiveness 101

Being assertive is a skill that comes naturally to some but not to all. It’s a trait and skill that can get you far in life when balanced evenly. However, if not kept in check, assertiveness can come across as abrasive, rude, or even mean or aggressive.

 

In this article, we’re going to explore the topic of assertiveness; we’ll cover what it means to be assertive, how to become more assertive, and how to keep that assertiveness in check.

 

What does it mean to be assertive?

Being assertive means being direct about what you need, want, feel, or believe, in a way that’s respectful of the views of others.  It allows you to identify and be clear about what you want.

 

What can you do to be more assertive?

Please pay close attention to what people say to you, try to see their perspective and don’t interrupt.  In the actual practice of assertiveness, you want to stay calm, avoid guilt-tripping, and use “I” statements. “I” statements (I think, I feel, I know) are much more assertive and more constructive than “you” statements (you never, you always), which tend to be more harmful.

 

How can you keep your assertiveness in check?

There’s a fine line between positive assertiveness and abrasive rudeness. An excellent way to keep yourself in check is to take time throughout your day to reflect on yourself, your behaviour, and your choices.   Working on your assertiveness skills allows you to go further and be happier in your life.